Last night I had a full scale panic attack. Either that or the longest fucking hot flash ever experienced on this planet. My neck and head felt like they were burning from the inside. I broke out in a sweat. I couldn't breathe. Insane pressure. It would subside but start again. Over and over. I did everything I could to ride them out but finally took half a xanax when I couldn't anymore.
It was terrifying.
This whole thing is terrifying. Wondering if I'll be ok again without medication. Wondering if I'll survive on it. Wondering when I'll feel better. If I'll feel better. If this jittery feeling will ever go completely away.
Having said that, I spent much of tonight feeling like myself, which I'm so grateful for. And I woke up this morning happy and content and comfortable.
I wish that for myself all the time.
I wish that for everyone out there struggling.
It gets so hard, so painful, so confusing, so scary at times. But, I truly believe it'll be ok in the end. Sometimes we just need help and have to trust that things will be fine.
Much love peeps.
To better, calmer, happier days.