Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sunday, not in the city

Little glimmers of reality are seeping in. While I'm writing, Iz and Jack are tackling vacation homework and I have to say, neither complained (too much). I think they feel the real world catching up quickly. And that's ok.

Or maybe it's not. I just got stumped by equivalent fractions and had to navigate ELA test prep without actually helping. Now there's a slight pit in my stomach that hadn't been there before.

But, a necessary pit. Too much sitting around, relaxing, aimless hanging out isn't good for anyone. At least not me. I can handle 2 or so hours and then feel the need to move, to do. Doesn't have to be anything big, but endless lounging makes my brain wilt.

I miss walking. I MISS WALKING. It's been so long since I've lived in car culture it's hard to jump back in. The stress of reversing directions made my heart pound yesterday when trying to figure out the return trip from craft supply shopping. Even with google maps highlighting the route on my phone, I had to repeat the turns (there were 2) over and over out loud to make sure I didn't screw up. Everything here looks the same.

I miss my body being my primary source of transportation. I miss the independence, the surety, the ease of navigating crowded sidewalks, whipping across corners to get to the next destination, carrying everything myself, arms often aching at the challenge. I miss the proximity. I miss the noise, the bustle, the intensity. I miss being in the middle of people. Strangers. Wearing outfits that make me stop. Or running into friends unexpectedly.

I miss yoga. I took a week off to let my wrist heal but I"m feeling empty without it. I miss the music, the incense, the colors, my mat. I miss sweating, stretching, breathing hard.

I miss my life. My routines. As a creature of habit isn't not easy being without mine. In just a few days I've managed to establish some new ones: making cappuchino first thing in the morning, swimming before lunch, ripsticking with Jack when it gets shady after dinner. And it's been lovely. But I'm ready to be home.

Last day in Florida needs to be about appreciating what's different, not missing the sameness.

I'll see what I can do.

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