space

I went to yoga today, too tired to be there but too compelled to skip. Sleep has been eluding me lately. Tightness in my jaw has become more of a staple than a passing fad. So many emotional balls are in the air, so many imminent changes, so many almost dire circumstances have left me a bit on the shaky side. 

Waiting for class to start, tears welling up slightly, I wondered if I should quietly slip out before we started to move. 

But no. I stayed. Realizing I hadn't eaten all day and hoping I'd make it through to the end. 

Then the teacher said we'd need extra props. That we'd be flowing but we'd also be spending time in restorative poses. That finding balance in this hectic city, with sirens screaming and people throwing elbows on sidewalks, was necessary. That in the busy, overwhelming lives we lead, we need to find space. And quiet. And peace. 

My body turned it down a notch.

My brain stopped whirling for a bit. 

I walked home slower than usual and then sat with my daughter, getting lost in a delicious reality baking show. 

My to do list is still tremendous. The changes and stresses from before haven't gone anywhere. 

But the door to calm opened and I remembered I can always step through and visit when I need to.