Monday, November 18, 2013

be the wall

While having coffee (hot chocolate) with a friend this morning an idea popped into my head. 

Be the wall. 

At points in my life that happened all the time. A book name or project idea would appear and I'd know exactly what it should be, would look like, could sound like. Sometimes I'd write it down, say it out loud. Talk about it with people, brainstorm it through. Sometimes I'd work through a book proposal, putting together logos, chapters, selling points. Sometimes I'd get to write the book and very often my original idea was remarkably close to the finished product. 

Be the wall. 

It's been awhile since that happened. At least the proposal/publishing part. Even the unbidden idea flashing through me happens far less than it used to. I think in some way my calmer mind doesn't need to be engaged as much which is healthy, although less productive. So when it happens perhaps I should pay more attention. 

Be the wall. 

We were talking about life with teenagers, how emotionally challenging it can be. How difficult, how exhausting, how frustrating at times. That when their emotions and hormones are directed at you how it can be next to impossible to stay calm and unflustered. 

In those moments I try my best (and I'm not always successful) to maintain calm and say: if you can't speak to me with respect, don't speak. Or something along those reasonable, mature lines. And then, this popped into my head:

Be the wall. 

Smooth. Calm. Unmoving. 

Solid. Substantial. Grounding. 

A blank surface. A clean slate. An object that won't, can't react. 

What a great book for parents that could be. Ways to keep your sanity, your calm, your cool when dealing with overwhelming emotions. Information about what to expect, what's normal, what to look out for, how to cope, where and when to find support. 

Everyone I know could use something like this at time. Including me. 

Be the wall. 

I recognize I'm not going to write this one. But I'm going to adopt it as my parenting mantra for awhile. 

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