what I can't live without

I was thinking this morning, as I wandered around my mom's house repacking all that we unpacked since last night plus the many things we accumulated at Target this morning, what were the things I couldn't live without. I thought this because the last minute shopping trip was to get a fuzzy pillow for one of my children who neglected to bring hers but can't sleep without one.

In the craziness, the stuffing, the organizing, I discovered what I can't live without.

My sunglasses were missing.

MY PRESCRIPTION SUNGLASSES WERE MISSING.

I took them off when I came into the house, put them on top of my bag and when I went back later to put them on, they were gone.

THEY DISAPPEARED.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I can't handle sun. I often wear sunglasses in my apartment when it gets too bright. The thought of spending a week in the sun, in the carribean, on a boat, at the BEACH with no shaded?

I lost it. After frantically tearing apart every bag I'd just repacked, I burst into tears, shaking, and curled up in the corner of a bedroom, incapable of pulling myself together.

It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was embarrassing. Everyone in my family now knows, as I shouted it over and over, that the last time I lost a pair of glasses was sophomore year of college.

There wasn't time to stop anywhere and have a quick pair made. Iz offered me her faux Coach pair which make me look like a Real Housewives reject. A quick stop at Walgreens found me a clip on shade that doesn't quite fit but creates turquoise and blue verticle stripes wherever I look. A quick real time note: Jack just looked at me and smiled a pity smile at how ridiculous I look.

And so, I've confronted and dealt with what I can't live without. And found that I can survive. Not fashionably, but I can still function.

Trip photos won't be featuring me.

And I'm going to think first, before thinking.