lost in thought

It's Thursday which means I'm sitting in my car. I've got 40 minutes to go. I've already gotten 2 kids off to school, navigated major construction in the east village to pick up a printed t-shirt order. After this I'm co-hosting a teacher appreciation lunch at Iz's middle school. From there it's picking Jack up downtown, dinner for everyone and opening night of the 5th grade school play.

Somewhere in there I've got to design 3 web banners, put together a mechanical for a promo t-shirt, and start working on the 3 blog posts I've been asked to write. Not an atypical day.

Whew.

The cool part is, at the moment all is mellow. I'm sitting here people watching, cloud gazing, trees waving in the brisk wind. My mind is quiet. Calm. Empty. The spin is there but it's been downgraded.

My jaw's not clenched. My hands aren't filled with tension. I don't have a pit in my stomach.

In fact, I feel like sprawling on a couch and just lying there.

Wallowing in stillness.

I'm so used to being revved up all the time that this is disconcerting. Generally I'm a multi-task master, lists forming in my head, plans and schedules rattling through my mind at a lightning pace.

Not today.

I'm sitting. I almost said "just sitting" but I think sitting, in itself, is something to be appreciated, not scorned.

That's a radical change in the way I think. I've always subscribed to "the busier, the better." The more I juggle the more productive I am the more I accomplish. I was disparaging of free time—mostly because it makes me so uncomfortable.

I've never known how to just be.

But, it's never too late to learn.