disappointment

I thought I found a puppy. I thought I found exactly who I wanted. He even had the name of my dear dear dear friend, who left a couple of years ago. Signs galore. 

Whats the ven diagram between signs and expectations? At the moment, I am pondering what to let go of, what doesn’t serve me, what really hurts. 

I miss Gracie so much. It’s been eight months since she left and it’s been so quiet and empty here. I’ve been waiting for her to send me someone I asked her to when I left the emergency room after saying goodbye to her for the last time I thought she knew when I would be ready. Maybe I’m just not ready yet. Maybe I’ll never be ready. Maybe there’s been too much loss over the last stretch and my heart isn’t ready to fill up again. And that is so sad. But it is what it is.