It's been a long time since I lost my soul to things like that, things that consumed me and took over my life. I don't particularly miss them. The highs were glorious but the lows almost broke me at times and I know I don't want to go back to those dark places again.
Tonight though, I saw what I've been quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) fighting for was heard. Information shared. People educated. Processes explained. That perhaps my final outcomes aren't going to be concrete books on shelves or public acknowledgements of what I've done, but instead an internal thumb's up to myself, a quiet knowledge that I'm making a difference. That I'm helping.
It's not nearly as public. But remarkably satisfying.