My road has been off the beaten track too and there were times, many in fact, when I wished for more traditional and expected direction, instead of forging ahead with no set path to follow.
It was often isolating. Scary. Overwhelming. Intimidating. Threatening. Off-putting. It's taken until now (and I'm not totally there yet) to feel felt excitement instead of fear, anticipation instead of doubt.
But with age comes an awareness, an acceptance, a knowing in my gut that I never had before or imagined was possible. I'm starting, at 51, to own who I am instead of regret who I'm not. To accept what makes me different instead of angst that I'm not like everyone else. To appreciate all that I am without ending thoughts with but or if only.
Letting go of what holds us back is seemingly impossible at times. Yet imagine what we could do or who we could be without all the second guessing and self doubt.