right now

I was in the middle of a lovely post about how wonderful it is to have my delicious, happy, enthusiastic puppy to come home to in the middle of all this craziness. About how she's helping me to stay sane in the insanity. About how much I appreciate being in those moments with her as my days slip away from me.

But, I can't right now.

It's been a day that still has hours to go, that started hours before the sun came up.

Jack woke me with a bad dream at 4 after which we both had trouble falling asleep.

I got up late. Late to get ready and head out for a meeting with the District 2 chancellor for a quality review of Izzy's middle school.

After that was an impromptu PTA meeting.

A hike through the east village looking for fabric for a dog Halloween costume.

A meeting with a cleaning specialist about an apartment job that's too big for me.

An appointment at the orthopedist with a result of 3 MRIs to have instead of one.

Scream-fests about homework.

And still I have:

dinner to make, a mattress to order, a bat-mitzvah paper I have to oversee revisions on, a nightmare excel project I have hours more of, more phone calls with more relatives, more fights between more children, 3 design projects, writing that was due last week, more laundry to tackle than I can bare to think about.

There are still people screaming at me.

Phone calls to return.

Guilt to try to shrug off but I can't.

I can't.