Right now, this moment, this very second, as I'm sitting in my car typing, I'm panicking. PANICKING. Freaking. Stomach clenched. Hands shaking. Not really capable of breathing deep. I'm in the middle of that internal battle when I have to actively fight to maintain control and not spin out. Why?
Yes. Makeup. I want to, need to, look as fantastic as possible for my FLOW party tonight, which means serious makeup tricks are necessary. And the person who is supposed to help can't be at my apartment until exactly the time I need to leave.
(insert scream and stamping feet here)
So, I'm spinning this. Do I go to a Sephora store and beg them for help? Do I send out a frantic email asking for recommendations? Do I TRY TO DO THIS MYSELF?! That's not even comprehensible.
FOR ONE DAY. AN HOUR AND A HALF. ONE PARTY. I want to be not me. I want to be glamorous. Beautiful. Charming. The center of attention. Lina Lamont in Singin' in the Rain. Without the cigarette holder and endless rhinestones. I want to be unfettered, disconnected. I want one night to shine. I want to not think about laundry, undercooked pasta, bedtimes. I want life to be in a bicker/whine free zone. I want a bubble like the one Glinda used in The Wizard of Oz, to surround me and keep all negativity out. I want to bask in my own glow dammit.
Well, that rant helped me push makeup out of the forefront. I still don't have an answer but I have to believe it'll all be ok in the end.
Day 44 is trying hard to keep it all together.