A major change I've noticed lately is my lack of commitment. Even here - a few days into a 40 day writing challenge and I blew it after day three.
I used to breathe obsession. I could give up sugar, fat, salt. I could do cardio until I couldn't walk. I delved into projects with abandon, until whatever I was working on became my everything.
Now, not so much.
Part of me thinks this is a far healthier way of being. Being more present in what is, rather than spin my wheels about other things. Letting the ebb and flow of days take precedence over an iron willed set of rules I impose.
I'm less driven, less hard edged, more tolerant. And in the end that's good.
But sometimes I miss the depth of drive that made anything possible.
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