FLOW officially went on sale two months ago today. I had thought, in December, that it would have been cool to do a month out recap, a look back on all that had happened after months of hype, years of work, anticipation and expectations. But, in all the craziness, I missed that actual date and thought that at two months out, I'd do the same thing.
Here I am. And I have nothing to say.
It feels like a lifetime ago. It feels like it's over. It feels like if something significant were to happen, it would have already.
I've been on TV. I met Dr. Oz. The New Yorker wrote about FLOW's amazing launch party at Rizzoli's. I've done bunches of interviews, was mentioned in mainstream magazines, can talk, spin, promote on a completely different level than before. I've been blogged about, been insulted, been called me a hero. I've met the coolest people, started online arguments, impressed my relatives. I've inspired some and pissed others off.
In some ways I have far more confidence than ever before. In others, I feel like I'm at the bottom of the mountain, again, and have no idea how I'm going to get back to the top.
I feel empty. Proud, beyond words, of what this book is, conversations its started, how people have responded, but now it's the past. While intellectually I know it's not over, that hopefully this is just the beginning of FLOW making a mark in the world, I'm having a hard time holding on to that right now. I thought this would be the life-changer, the door-opener, the project that would have people sitting up, paying attention, and waiting to work with me/talk to me.
I'm still sitting in my living room, figuring out what's next.
Two months out and life is the same.
Expectations get me every time.
Day 7 is not particularly patient.