Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm not kidding

Entertainment at sea can be fabulous. Last night we watched Mama Mia on a giant screen, under the stars, on lounge chairs with pillows, blankets, and freshly popped pop corn. It was an amazing night.

The night before I went to a show so bad I had to walk out, which I've done maybe twice in my life. It was an original Princess musical called "Destination Anywhere" and it went from mediocre to unbelievable to atrocious to impossible to sit through far more quickly than one could imagine. The premise, or so it seemed, was that a woman had been dumped by her boyfriend and had to get away. Anywhere was fine. Hence the show's title and the first number—a not-very-catchy song that featured 60s styled stewardesses dancing in silver sequins and ended with a toy plane traversing the stage. The next song: Viva Las Vegas. Ok, she's going to mend her broken heart in Sin City. That turned into an Elvis tribute as the most faux Elvis I've ever seen launched into "A Little Less Conversation" as he rose up onto the stage. Surrounded by 10 other dancers in matching Elvis outfits, it was truly Elvis-mania. I'm waiting for the soul, the edge, the edge of Elvis but there was none to be found. Next up: Heartbreak Hotel. The blond singer who was trying so hard to be a soulful Britney belted this one out only she couldn't belt. The dancers were sexed up chambermaids and it was quickly apparent they wanted to seduce everyone who came to stay. I figured this had to be why the show was rated PG-13.

And then, without explanation, the show turned into Sweeney Todd, transporting itself to old-style London. Dry ice filled the stage with smoke and dancers slunk about in the dark, as if waiting for Jack the Ripper to attack. The women sang a remake of "A Few of My Favorite Things" about jewelry. It was bad. Really bad. But the kiss of death was when the male singers, dressed in Sherlock Holmes outfits with top hats instead of caps, started rapping. I got ready to go, waiting it out to see if the next number might possibly help. Roxanne. Nope. I left.

I heard today that the show hit The Lion King next, before a Time Warp from Rocky Horror finale.

A quick disclaimer—I didn't take the photo. I didn't stick around long enough.

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