joe the plumber

While there have been countless mindboggling moments in the McCain/Palin sideshow—let's just take a moment to remember the Katie Couric interviews, the "economy is strong" statement, the suspended campaign, the Pretty Woman shopping spree to rattle off a few—it's hard to find anything more ridiculous than the inclusion of Joe the Plumber on their campaign wagon.

Obama's got President Bill Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, Nobel Prize Winner Al Gore all stumping for him at the moment. McCain's got a non-licensed plumber who owes back taxes, uses a pseudonym and has been dangerously spouting off political advice and opinions.

They scary part is that crowds apparently are going wild for him. It's the American Idol factor live. You could now call it the Sarah Palin factor. Who needs experience or talent to find instant fame?

friends don't let friends . . .

. . . wear socks with sandals. Alas, I have a good friend who persists in this fashion-backwards behavior. In fact, when I saw him today he said not only did he wear socks with sandals just for me, he went one step further and wore Thorlo socks—those navy blue toes stood out even more against the white socks and tevas. Again, just for me.

In the spirit of transparency and full disclosure, the socks and sandals pictured are not those of my friend, just a random stranger who also is apparently comfortable with this fashion faux pas.

living the american dream

This year, after much debate, Iz decided to be Sarah Palin for Halloween. While I tried to encourage her to be Sarah as a beauty queen, or Sarah in camo as a local Alaskan, she only wanted a power suit and heels. I scavenged the Salvation Army to find her a fitted black blazer, skirt and pumps. Total cost? $25.

I wanted to outfit her with a Miss Wasilla sash, or perhaps a maverick sign. She said just the thought of her as Sarah Palin was amusing enough.

Loser

It's hard to figure out exactly where this loser story starts. Could be that I managed to lose both Iz and Jack's passports. Could be that I didn't realize it until we had to shell out the extra $120 bucks to expedite new ones. Could be that I dragged everyone to only open passport office in Manhattan this morning, with every form filled out, paper-clipped together and uber-organized, but forgot to bring their birth certificates. In retrospect, it was the last one.

After that we had a birthday party, a middle school tour, and two session of our school's halloween bash to survive. It's been a long long long day.

what to wear

Another thing I've been wondering . . . where does Sarah Palin keep all her clothes? While she has her look down to a science—short black skirt, simple top with 3/4 sleeves, classic pumps—I don't know that I've ever seen her wear the same outfit twice. Turns out she hasn't had to worry about closet space, that her very polished look is the result of a very recent $150,000 spending spree. So much for the "I'm just a hockey mom," and her constant claims that she and her husband are middle class like the rest of us. Funny, I'm middle class and no one's dropping $75,000 for me at Neiman Marcus. And while that sounds like fun, where would I store everything?

Speaking of dropping money, it seems as if she took her kids on state business trips, whether they were invited or not, and charged Alaska for their airfare and expenses. It's hard to imagine the pre-teen set would be relevant at government summits, but they got to stay in ritzy hotels, at the tax-payers expense for days.

Now I know there are far more important issues to discuss in this election: the global economy meltdown, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Wall Street bail out, but should the very expensive shoe be on the other foot, right now the RNC would be spinning these shopping sprees into threats on our national security. Can't you picture soundbites like: "HOW CAN THEY BALANCE THE BUDGET WHEN THEY SHOP TILL THEY DROP?" or "SHOES FIRST, ECONOMY SECOND."

motherhood and politics and rumors

I've been wondering about the whole release-of-medical-records thing. While on one hand, knowing the health of the potential leaders of this country is totally important. If an elected official had six months to live, that would be an important fact to know during election season. On the other hand, it's very strange, and feels more than a bit intrusive, to know what medications Joe Biden is taking and results of tests that are usually very private.

Which brings me to Sarah Palin. Why isn't she releasing her records? I'm thinking that a woman who popped out a baby in April and has been running around the country non-stop for months must be in awfully good shape. Make that great shape. Thinking back to when I had kids (and it's only two compared to five), there's no way my body would've been able to withstand that pressure. A new baby keeps you up at night. Then again, perhaps she has someone dealing with night time feedings. Childbirth itself is an exhausting experience and it takes time to heal. Hormones are coursing and pumping and changing. There is, at least for most people I know, an emotional pull to take care of and be with your child. Maybe by the fifth, that lessens. I remember watching her repeatedly whack her baby on the back (ok, whack is a little extreme) after her convention speech. I remember noticing that not once did she look down at him, whisper in his ear, kiss his cheek or offer and of the gestures moms automatically give their babies. She looked like a frantic burper before she handed him off to her 6 year old. I remember rumors floating online that the baby wasn't hers, he was the child of her teenage daughter.

Sometimes, I still wonder the same thing. Either that or she has one talented personal trainer, a full-time nanny, and little to no emotional ties.

the secret of politics

John Hodgman (I'm a PC) on the Rachel Maddow show just talked about the magical thinking of both Sarah Palin and George Bush—that they both think they're qualified to run the country just because they believe they can.

Isn't that what "The Secret" is all about? I tried to read it—I thought I was missing some fundamental truth of life that would make me wealthy and successful if only I read and embraced this book as so many millions had. But I couldn't get past the first chapter. The same people were quoted over and over admonishing readers to THINK POSITIVE. BELIEVE IT AND IT WILL HAPPEN. DON'T EVER DOUBT because if you do, even in your head, the forces of the universe will sense it and deliver doom and gloom to your doorstep, instead of a million dollar check from Ed McMahon. It seemed to be about self-delusion so powerful that you'd trick everything and everyone, including yourself, to believe things that just aren't true. Bush and Palin are such strong believers in themselves and their abilities, they don't even bother to pay attention to anyone or anything else.

gratitude

I am so incredibly grateful that my amazing, wonderful, remarkable friends took my child to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua today. Which means I never have to see it.

Last night I suffered through Legally Blonde 2—just about the stupidest movie ever made. I hate wasting another moment of my existence on this planet thinking about it except to say that it starred a chihuahua—coincidence? Does a chihuahua in a film guarantee its inanity? Who was more mortified about participating in the film, the writers or the actors? Is a whole generation of girls going to think that you can get into Harvard Law and pass a bill in Congress just by being friendly and cute and knowing more about hair care than anyone but a professional should?