obedience training

Jack, Iz, and I were walking down Lexington Avenue today. We got to the corner of 39th street and at the red light, a man said, in a very stern voice, "Jackson, sit!" When we turned to find out why some stranger was telling Jack to plant his butt on the sidewalk, we saw a large black dog sitting very nicely. Turns out Jackson the dog was very well trained. As the light changed to green, Jack the person was next up. I said, very loudly, "Jack, stop." He did. So did Jackson the dog and his owner.

bathroom blogging

Iz is working with her tutor in the living room, so Jack and I are displaced at the moment. Because of the wacky way our apartment walls conduct stuff, our wireless network only works partly down our not particularly long hallway. In fact, the signal only works on the north side of the hallway so the bedrooms are out. Therefore, the hall bathroom becomes our personal cyber cafe. Jack gets the toilet (seat closed), his feet propped up on the hamper. I get the floor, with the bathtub as my backrest. For those out there who haven't been to my bathroom, it's really small. Even small for NYC. But, we're both typing away, updating our blogs (www.jackman-jackyjam.blogspot.com), working on Jack's website, and waiting until we can emerge. My butt is getting really sore. Maybe next time I'll break out the bath mat.

scan master

If only that title came with a throne. A cape. Or at least a little recognition. But no, at the moment I'm tackling a completely unreasonable amount of scanning and there's no glory involved whatsoever. Just an achy back, teary eyes, and a brain that's numb with boredom.

other people's stress

I wish that I could put up a wall and not take on other people stress. Other people's challenges. Problems. Issues. But no, I embrace them and make them my own. Why else would I take on scanning a monumental stack of original art when it's someone else's job. Fix a friend's logo. With multiple edits. For free. Volunteer to design a project for an elementary school and take it as seriously as if it was an annual report. I angst over other people's jobs/homework/doctor's appointments. Babysitters/relationships/emotional well-being. Who's doing that for me?

There's a great big "L" on my forehead. Neon.

tell me why I don't like Mondays . . .

Actually, I do like Mondays. In fact, I totally and completely love Mondays. My family gets exceedingly aggravated whenever I say that, but after 2 straight days of no time alone, whining, arguing, bickering, "what can I do," meals, messes, battles, repeats of Total Drama Island and the Simpsons, Spore, DDR, Guitar Hero, Star Wars lego, various wii games, I'm done. Of course, every weekend doesn't include all of the above. It only feels like they do. There's no room or time for me sit still, read a book, think for myself. When the door closes after everyone's gone on Monday, I take a deep breath and then often do the stuff I do every day. But, no one's asking me something or expecting anything from me.

So, tomorrow's like the mother of all Mondays because I've had people home with me for 12 STRAIGHT DAYS and my craving for solitude has hit an all time high. I will miss everyone tremendously, well, maybe not. But, I will be happy to see them all at the end of the day and will appreciate them all the more for having had time to just be.

aging gracefully

I want to be filled with positive thoughts about aging, but it's close to impossible to dredge many up. While my getting older is ok at the moment, notwithstanding the wrinkles in my inner elbows and the creases at the edges of my mouth that make me look perpetually angry or mean, it's horrifying to watch it around me. I am confronted by my mother and mother-in-law—polar opposites at aging but equally scary. My mother is 73 going on 90, spending much of her time doped up and in bed. Between bad hips, bad knees and crippling arthritis, she can barely move and is constant pain. Then there are the multitude of other medical ailments that, to be honest, I can't list because I'm not really sure what they are. Almost every conversation includes recaps of doctor visits and test results. I gave up a long time ago and just mutter appropriate sympathy when necessary. She recently informed me she has 2 years left and then she's done.

Then there's my mother-in-law who, during a snowstorm this week, managed to skid off the road. Twice. Same road. Same spot. The fact that there were white out conditions couldn't shake her plans. She recently moved to Vermont, to a house off a dirt road, not really close to anything, surrounded by woods. 2 stories, so she has to deal with stairs every day. Her faith in her independence is remarkable and while I applaud her bravery and intrepid-ness, what the hell? She's alone. She's 5 hours away from any relative. Should something happen, who's helping? While looking at the dark side isn't the best way to be, being reasonable is, well, reasonable. While my mom's seeing the door closing quickly, my mother-in-law is acting like she's 25. Only she's 73. Which is worse—the old crone or the perpetual teenager? They constantly, without knowing it, battle for top spot.

cyber popularity

Getting attention in cyberspace is a bit of a mystery. In fact, getting attention in general has me pondering. Some people get attention all the time for absolutely no good reason while others, who need/deserve/could benefit from it, flounder in obscurity. Well, that goes for life in general but, I'm finding, online too. And I'm finding the world of blogging is all about no design, which makes it really hard (almost painful sometimes) for me to dive into. The nonlinear-ness of pages and links and photos and blogs and websites haphazardly thrown together is giving me a headache and I've only been checking things out for 10 minutes. Yet the most crammed, busy blogs are the ones with thousands of followers.

And who are they? I write here but don't follow anyone else's blog. It's challenging enough getting through my day and keeping it together (barely) without keeping track of friends and strangers and their stuff. Is it a popularity thing? What makes people popular online? Is it what they say in 20 words or less? What they do? A cool name? I have no idea. But, I want to be one them. I feel like if I had a presence, my projects would have a launching pad and might actually garner attention instead of getting lost in the multitude.

This book, in particular, should have done so well. It is nothing but support for new moms and their partners. It's funny, helpful, smart, easy to read . . . but it got lost in the shuffle and no one ever saw it:

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Just-Stand-There-Clued/dp/0811855694/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230903475&sr=8-1