challenges

I'm good at doing. I'm good at sticking to a schedule. I'm good at accomplishing what's on my list. 

But pushing super hard is something I used to excel at but haven't done for a long time. It's not that I don't have the ability or the drive or the desire but in the past I'd push so hard it wasn't healthy anymore. I did it through an eating disorder, through writing a bunch of books, through exercise that was far from good for me. 

And so, for a long, long time, I backed off. 

I'm tiptoeing back in.

It's scary. Overwhelming. Honestly it's unnerving to push this hard and often feel so awful on the other side. But I'm also getting stronger, seeing changes, feeling different on the other side. We'll see where this takes me but kind of cool at 58 that I'm challenging myself in ways I haven't in decades and I'm coming back for more.