Sunday, November 6, 2011

riding the waves

At the moment I'm sitting in a public atrium on Wall Street. Right in front of me is the weekly NYC yoyo club meet up. Behind the spinning discs and neon strings are extras for the final battle scene in the new Batman movie, waiting for their scene to start shooting. Across the way is an Occupy Wall Street organizational meeting with 20 or 30 people in a circle sharing information and ideas. 

15 minutes ago, in search of snacks for a hungry child (and me) I was wondering streets that alternated between deserted and preparing for a cinematic battle. Skyscrapers cutting off almost all sun, patches of blue glancing off mirrored facades. 

25 minutes ago a random text to an old friend led to passes to the 9/11 Memorial. 

An hour and a half ago I walked down subway steps only to find I'd forgotten my wallet. 

3 hours ago every network in my apartment failed and I fought back absolute frustration and tears staring down tech problems I don't know how to solve. Hey, I don't even know what the problems are. 

4 hours ago my brother and I spent far too much time on speakerphone with Daisy at TiVo and managed to accomplish nothing. Except drive ourselves crazy. 

5 hours ago I was just finishing a yoga class. 

7 or so hours ago I was writing out morning pages as the puppies wrestled on top of me. 

So far this day has been utterly frustrating, completely  inspirational, filled with urban beauty, parental pride, personal exasperation, apartment angst, exploring new neighborhoods, boundless love, technology hell, embarrassing hair, and a quiet satisfaction. 

I have to give that last one a shout out. The transplant was 5 months ago today. Iz asked me if that was a memorable anniversary and I realized that every single day my brother is out in the world with a healthy kidney is memorable.  Of course the time we spent together today was aggregating to no end. But, that is incomparable to what the alternative could've been. 

I'm learning, slowly, to ride the waves, to hold it together when they're crashing over my head, to appreciate the moments of calm, to revel in streams of sun reflecting off the water and not let go when storms are ripping me apart. 

After all this I'm thinking an Arrested Development marathon will be a great way to end this day. 

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