Thursday, June 7, 2012


This is the 4th post I've started tonight. I'm not as comfortable as I used to be spilling my guts and angst and emotional anorexia into cyberspace.

I've grown.

Or perhaps I've shut down.

I'm in a different place though and while I know I want to get back to writing I'm not sure what my door in will be.

Perhaps it's not blogging. Perhaps this go round it's actually working on a project. 

I haven't done that in so long. 

Flow came out almost 3 years ago and that experience changed me. For the better in some ways but not all. I was so burnt so abused so shut up so stifled I lost my voice and my drive to start something new. 

Maybe I lost it forever. 

Or maybe I'm just scared. Scared that there's nothing there. 

I know that's not true. I have plenty of good ideas to work on. But nothing that's driving me. 

Maybe that's the difference this time. I have to make it happen from a different place. A saner place a calmer, more rational place. Flow was a nightmare in so many ways and I'm thinking perhaps the fear of repeating that experience has kept the door locked.

It doesn't have to be that way again. 



I'm making a commitment to myself to write every day for 40 days. Doesn't have to be blogging. Could be writing, working, conceptualizing, researching. 


Maybe all this angst will disappear when I let myself flow again.

Baby steps.

One day at a time.

Here I go.

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