blogging

I decided to write for a bit and see if I still wanted to write. 

The jury is out.

My life is in a different place than it was when I spilled my guts before. I used to get up and writing was the first thing I did every morning. There were remnants of dreams in my mind and children still sleeping and long days to slog through - writing was my escape in the minutes before everything else crashed me back to reality. But these days days are different. 

I meditate as soon as I get up. 

I check time hop and see what I was doing in years past. 

I do legs up the wall and roll my feet on a golf ball and stretch my upper back on yoga blocks. 

I've found other ways of space and time to help me stay grounded and present. 

Writing isn't a habit yet. It's something that I keep almost forgetting to do.

I'm still on the fence. 

We'll see. 

For me it’s Starbucks hot chocolate. I do t even like them that much but it’s a daily must have.

MUST HAVE. 

For years I’ve given them up and fell back into the sugar routine, pretending they’re full of protein and calcium so they must be good for me. 

I just found out each one has 38 grams of sugar. 

38. 

Grams of sugar. 

38. 

Grams. 

Of. 

Sugar. 

All that for something I don’t even enjoy all that much. I guess I do have a New Years resolution. Time to give this shit up. 

resolutions

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Generally they don’t last and I’m pissed at myself for not sticking to whatever it was. Instead, I commit to things whenever it feels like there’s something I need to commit to. 

Right now I’m committed to getting into better shape. It’s been close to a year of a lot of staying in one place and while I took plenty of Pilates classes and walked whenever I could, it’s been years since I had a dedicated cardio practice. So that’s my plan not just because it’s a new year but because it’s time to challenge my body and myself to get to a healthier place. Day one and my spin classes are in the bag. My goal, not resolution, is 4 rides a week. I’m thinking that’s reasonable and manageable and something I won’t have to beat myself up about if it doesn’t always work out. 

Kindness to yourself is key.