Friday, December 9, 2011

a little synchronicity goes a long way

I'm a big fan of synchronicity. I love order. Making sense of things. The bigger picture. That's my design side—take all sorts of unrelated stuff and finding and/or creating common threads and structure.

I love that the transplant was 6 months to the day I was first tested. I love that the surgery was 6.6.11, a date with a lot of balance. And in the twisted world of Elissa Stein numerology (I assign all sorts of random significance to numbers), the sixes were great as both my and Iz's birthdays are in June (the 6th month). 6 minus 1 equals 5, which equals May, the month Jack and Jon were born in. And 6 plus 1 is seven, which is considered a lucky number, plus Jack was born on the 7th. Good all around.

Logical? No. Except in my head. Which leads me to . . .

Yesterday Dave and I traveled out to Three Kings Tattoo in Brooklyn for a consultation with the one artist I've found (after lots and lots of research) whose work completely blew me away. We went over the too many reference images I'd brought and talked about what it was I'm looking for. Her next available date was January 12. We booked an appointment at 1. It was enough to groove to that:

1.12.12@1 - balance and symmetry all over the place. Then this morning I looked back on my calendar to see what was going on a year ago, that date.

Turns out it was my first visit to the nephrologist after finding out I was a match. My first anxiety attack since I'd started meds the spring before. 4 hours of consults and conversations with my transplant coordinator, nephrologist, social worker, advocate and then time logged at the lab for 9 more vials of blood to be drawn.

It was a day that stretched me into places I hadn't been before, forced to confront issues almost too much to grapple with.

1.12.11 was one of the most intense, challenging, nerve-wracking, soul-searching, terrifying days of my life. I'm thinking getting my thank you tattoo on 1.12.12 will be an awesome way of celebrating all that's gone on in the past year.

Thanks Dave. And Annie.

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